Thursday, August 13, 2009

Back from a Lush Holiday

Alrite, im back lush time Greece it was lush. Had such a gud time wiv all mi ladies. I met dis gr8 guy called Zeus, it woz luv at first sight. I just luv his name, its so historic! Anyways, I met him on our first night out in Mykz (our nickname 4 it). He asked me if he could buy me a drink. I said he cud buy me an ouzo shot! I woz pretty pissed dat night, ouzo shots galoret. Anywayz, in the mornin i woke up with him next to me. It was quite romantic, I woke up beside him like everyday on da trip. Im so bummed i had to leave. I will have 2 keep Zeus as 1 of my cherished memories. Maybe i will see him next year. He was well fit.
I bet you want 2 hear the goss. Well it wsn't just me who pulled on dafirst night, of course. But i would say zeus was da fittest. i was quite restrictive on da hols, i had one man 4 da whole week, whereas becks and chels had a different lad every other night. Bless them. I think dey might need 1 of dos STI tests or whateva dey are called dese days. N on 1 night i was doing a dance in my bikini on the bar and i felt like takin the top off since it was one of dos Wet Tshirt contests. n i REALLY wanted to win to i took it off. ANd then i dropped by the disk so i should have been able to put it on again once da contest was ova, but some1 had taken mi bikini! Terrible! SO at least i got to keep the wet white tshirt as a souvenir (though quite ripped and wet) so i had to wear dat da rest of the night. I won though, safe! I got a jug of ouzo for the rest of da night! Fancy that! it was a well good trip, needed a whole day recovery. Work again tomoro, ug, double shift too.

Luv Trace. xXxX

Monday, August 3, 2009

Farewell English Arseholes, and Hello Greek Gods!

Hey Folks!
Im 2 excited 4 our trip 2day. Yesterday i spent most of my sunday being extremly hungover. I will tell you everiffin bout Bex party. Well our plan didnt go as we thought. We decided to do a tequila race (we had to celebrate bexy). N afta our 5th tequila arsehole Rick came. It is a bit hazy since i was pissed as fuck. Well, 4 sum reason Kay decided 2 attack him!!!! She was kinda like when she did E that 1 time in Falaraki last year. Well neways, da bouncer came n told her she was kicked out!!! So we all had 2 go to anotha bar. Not cool. But Rick came lata and took Kay back. N Kay seemed really excited about seein him! They even went home togetha. I love happy endings!
Can't waiiiiiit, only 2 more hours and we're off to Mykooonooooooooos! I hope i find myself a nice Greek man who can show me around n buy me Ouzo! Safe.
I hope W has a gud time with his grandparents!
I will miss you, blog fans!!!! I will try and sneak some updates, maybe there is an internet cafe or sumfin. Cos what wuld u do widout me.

Friday, July 31, 2009

W's big bash bday

Sorry I ain’t written for a while, but it was our W’s bday on Weds, I was so hungover yester, I dunno how I made it thru work I tells ya.

W’s bday was immense, all my m8s showed up, n W’s daddy, Gavin brought loadsa xtra alcohol, so we all got real smashed.

I was real pissed at David for awhile, cos he only came 2 da last half hr of da party, n he missed W’s big bday moment, but he made it up 2 me in the bedroom if u know what I mean. He did bring da shirt along wiv him. W looks like propa supastar now. We even have nicknames now, so I think it’s getting serious, before he left in the morning, he went “bye ma lil’ slapper”, we is meana be, ma name for him, is baby-bear, cos he is well cute. Wish I had a foto 2 show you all, cos he is fit as.

Ive already finished mah shift and I’m well tired. I will watch some gud movies and den hit da sack. Tomoz is gunna be a nite of madness. BEX PARTY TOMOZZZZ!! Im wearing da shirt I showed 2 you b4. I’ll be 2 hot 2 handle. Baby-Bear said he wud be comin. I can’t WAIT!!!!!!

Our W had a footie cake for his bday, looked bit like da one in da piccie.



Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Action Plan: Rick aka biggest knob eva

As you may have seen on mi schedie, i had a double shift 2day at Sains. It was a bloody nightmare.
Anyways, i was s'posed 2 pick up W's Burbery shirt 2day during my 30 min lunch. I ran in2 Kay instead n actually spoke 2 her my whole lunch. Kay's havin probs wiv her boyfriend of 2 weeks, so dey hav been seein each otha 4 a while now. She said she heard from our friend Debbie who heard from her friend Jill who heard from her friend Jo (or Jane or sumffin) dat her boyfriend Rick was cheating on Kay wiv dis slag Jazmyn. We made a real sneak plan. We are going to SPY on dat Rick when he is out on Bex's birthday. He wont know who we are since we will be real dressed up, disguised in rock n roll outfits. Mega master plan!

Course now i don't have little W's shirt... Though!!! I did meet David (luvaboy) on my way home from work. He is so fit. Gettin 2 da point, he said he could get me a little baby shirt 4 W 4 20 quid. A right deal! I gave him da money on da spot. He is coming to baby W's party and giving it. W will be soooooo happy!

See yas!


PS. Doncha luv da pic???

Monday, July 27, 2009

Busy Bee

This Week's Hectic Schedie

I hav so much stuff 2 do dis week. Juz luk at mi schedule:

Tuesday: Double shift at Sains. During lunch i must check out da Burberry stall so i can buy sumffin 4 little W. Only da best for my baby!

Wednesday: Only got a regular shift. Got the early one aswell. Must buy da liquor for Ws birthday. Mummy and Daddy got a bouncy castle for little W. Great, innit? Anyways, W's party starts at 4. SO i must make the punch and open chips and evrfin before. I hope it don't rain, i planned it 2 be outside.

Thursday: Recovering from W's birthday. Regular shift. Buy stuff for Mykonos.

Friday: Double shift.

Saturday: Beckys birthday! Mega boooooze fest! I got mi parents 2 watch W, they must be thrilled 2 have baby W around. Anyways, Bex party is going 2 be fabulous! Going 2 bring out my new outfit. Going to look fit as Posh! Juz have 2 work a shift at Sainsbury, then off 2 da bars!

Sunday: Recoverings from Bex kickass party!!!! But also packing all mi things 4 mykonos!

Ma holiday wardrobe:

As u know I'm all into da mix n matching, so ma sarong of course matches all ma bikinis, they're all well fit, I dunno which one I like more. Ma cowboy hat is lush too init?

Sunday, July 26, 2009

What were they thinking?

Grrr, I ain't half mad, Im bloody pissed, W didn't win da baby competition. He didn't even come 3rd, dem judges must be stupid as fuck. W is a looker all my m8s say so. N i know hes gonna be a star.
Dey obs don't know fittness n talent when dey see it is all i can say. Im devastated n so is Wayney, n Kayleigh she lent me da money to enter him, n placed a bet to, she was sure he was guna win.
Kay sure ain't pleased now, I dont think shes gonna come to W's party. I was like lsiten K sumone must ave bribed da judges u know our W, hes a winner, but she weren't aving any of it, ah well, if she dont come to his bday she'll be missing da event of da yr is all I can say.

A girls got 2 do, what a girl’s got 2 do…

Ok, soz 4 not writin l8ly, but Ive been well busy, at my new job, dey had me on a double shift, so I worked like all Saturday, n was well tired. I didn’t even go out Sat night, just went home n watched the tele, bit shit really. Bit bummed dat I didn’t get my dose vodka though, but whateva.

Well so far work seems alright, tho on ma first shift I snuck sum choccy on ma lunch break, but I 4got to throw away da wrappers n I was well worried dey’d catch me, but it’s all good. I got another double shift on Monday 2, I miss ma job at karma sutra now I tells ya, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do, rite?

Dat damn David hasn’t called yet either. I’m startin to think dat he was using me and everiffin. Dis sucks, I woz luking 4ward to spendin sum time in his luxury flat n 4 discounts at the Burberry stall. It’s time to find anotha man in my life.

Well I must leave ya now. I entered W into a “Cutest Baby contest” at a store down da road. It may be Wayny’s big break. He will most def win. He is quite da looka.



Thursday, July 23, 2009

Another Dream: Shattered!

2day woz not gud, it must be sed. Dem arseholes at karma sutra gave me da boot. I made 1 little mistake n I got da sack. N its W’s bday soon n I got my holiday 2 pay 4, I’m pissed I tells u.

Well it weren’t my fault, 1 of da chefs didn’t come in2 work 2day, so I was asked to help out. Dey told me 2 put some spice in sum curry, so I did. Da spices was in dis big tub, I thought it woz weird dey wanted me 2 put all dat in. Turns out chef meant one scoop full, not one tub. But how was I sposed 2 know?!

Anyways I gotta get booze n dat for our W’s bday n I still gotta get his present. Its not a party if der ain’t no Lambrini and W has 2 look propa!!

Anyways I walked by our local Sainsburys on my way home 2 see if I cud bag myself a new job. Turns out I can, my tryout is tomora, safe!

David still ain’t called yet. But my meeting with Gav went ok, he wants me back, but I said no. I’ve found a beta man now, n who knows what will be waiting for me in Myknonos. He gave me some dosh for our W’s bday n he sed he’ll be der on the big day. I got him 2 pay for me dinner n me drinks. Maxed out!

I effin hope I get dat damn job or else maybe I can flirt a bit wiv da manager!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Burberry Blues…

I hear David owns da stall at the market dat has all da Burberry stuff. Cos I shagged him propa, he shud give me a discount. Dat damn slimball ain’t called me yet. He effin’ promised he wud. I ave 2 get dat shirt for baby Wayne. He must look propa gud 4 his 2nd birthday. Every1 wants to see W on his birthday. I invited every1. If David ruins baby W’s birthday I’ll be pissed. He beta call or Im guna make a propa scene at da market, he will wish he’d effin called me I tell ya now.

Tomora Im sposed to meet W’s dad Gavin at our local. I know W’s guna be famous one day, cos his dad is a well gud actor. I met him on a skul trip, he was working in da cloakroom of our theatre. He’s still der now waiting for his big chance. He ain’t got a part yet, but he’s only been working der 8 yrs. W’s guna be a propa luka 2, cos he’s got my looks, n Gavin’s acting skills.

W is going to be the next Becks, but for films.

Fashion is My Passion

I always find wid fashion u gotta mix n match , if u ave one good pair of shorts or trousers all yh need is tops init.

Everifin is found on my fav site,, everifin on sales of course!

This top is so wickid. It would look great with my new hot pink hot pants, i think its well classy, perfect for dinner out with ma gurls or a night on da town.

4 my m8 Chels wants to ave a rock themed party, cos she gona be 19 next wk. I was thinking wid dem hot pants of mine dis top would be well good. Id look fit as.

Pink Tank

This top is banging, it wouldn't half look good on our Bex, the lads round here think shes the Rihanna of Croyden or sumin.

Last Night was THE Night!!!

Last night was well good. Course I pulled David. N Kayleigh managed to get that Brian who works in the chippy. We did ave sum hastle from her ex tho, he called Kayleigh a slapper n then said she'd stolen sum stuff of his. WHICH SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH!!!

All in all it was a good nite tho, i was pissed as n i lost my new look thong on some road near davids, core he werent half eager, we didnt even use a johnny.
yh if ive got another w on da way im gonna get all the dosh i can outta david.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Only The Very Best 4 My Baby

Me thinx dis shirt will look fab on W. He's almost 2 now. So it's time 4 his first Burberry shirt. I saw 1 at da market. N every1 luvs a little Burberry. W will be very handsome in it. If Kingston (Gwen Stefani's babe) can hav 1 then so should baby W. Only the very best for Kingston.

Kayleigh is coming in a couple. Lambrini madness! Must run!

Lots of Luv!

A Girlz Night Out

Ok, I finally got a day off! All had to woz to shag the restaurant owner. If I known dat earlier i wud hav dun it earlier. So i have got a babysitter and everifin. I bought myself sum Lambrini (the cherry kind, of course) and new pack of Lucky. Kayleigh is comin ova 4 drinks soon. We r going on a massive piss up dis evenin. N tomorrow I will have got all day 2 recova. As long as W isn't screamin, he is a bit moody ATM. And his daddy isn't bein much of a help now that he is seeing that slag Kim.

Hopefully I will pull tonight. Ive got my eyes laid on dis lad, David. He is quite upperclass. He even has his own flat. He isn't livin wid his parents like the rest of us. I hear he just got a new leather couch!! I'm thinkin he can be tonights drink donor, he can buy my wine spritzers. Wine spritzers are almost like champers but cheaper and they got str8 2 mi head. Safe.

Ello every1 my name is Tracy. Im a 19 yr old single motha. I reli luv baby Wayne, I call him W for short. I was reli inspired by Wayne Rooney (my dream man)... livin it up in Croyden. I is a big fan of fashion, me n ma gurls work it every time. ATM working as a waitress at an indian restaurant called karma sutra. Work is just a way to earn money tho. Im saving up for ma trip to Mykonos in Aug. Every1 is guna be der.
That'll be in ma ladies in a few weeks. Safe.